What do you do, when the Memory Care Facility you have trusted to care for your beloved elder, gets it ALL wrong?  There is so much to unpack here. My family is experiencing this in real time literally at the speed of light.

This is not where my story “For Charlie” begins, but this is where we are going to start. “For Charlie” is the series I created to bring attention to Elder Abuse.

Elder Fraud

Financial Elder Abuse

Neglect

Memory Care Eviction

Different aspects of Elder Abuse as I experience them in real time.

I have an elder relative with dementia whom we affectionately call Charlie.  The stories I will be sharing are his stories and my families experiences. Due to the swiftness of the experiences I’m just going to dive right into the one we are smack dead in the middle of as I speak.

Charlie currently resides at Atria Del Rey Memory Care facility in Rancho Cucamonga, CA. He’s been living there for almost two years. Up until recently the experience has been quite lovely.  However there was a recent change in management, and our lovely experience has been on the decline. Charlie began having frequent falls, which is common with the progression of dementia. Just recently, the new Executive Director- Alondra, asked to meet with the family. We obliged.

The meeting consisted of Alondra , Denise (Resident Services Director), myself, my mother, and my brother Rochad.  Rochad and I share Power of Attorney over Charlie.  Before I go into the details of the meeting, let me point out that Memory Care Facilities are very expensive. Here in California they typically start at $5000 a month. The price goes up depending on the level of care needed. Charlie’s current monthly bill is $7200 a month. The price increases every year…

Back to the meeting. Alondra starts the meeting talking about Charlie’s recent falls, and his moods. We discussed the use of medications. I am against keeping Charlie on medications that keep him sedated and spoke out against that. I advocated that Charlie deserves a quality of life. Everyone agreed.

Alondra and Denise went on and on about finding the “Sweet Spot” with the proper medications to help Charlie. They discussed Charlie may be a candidate for “One on One” care during certain times of the day. Family could provide that or they could recommend agencies that provide that service.  Collectively we agreed to see how Charlie does on different medication. Give it a few weeks and see how he does.

Alondra said the additional care would cost us an additional $1500 a month which we agreed to pay. Charlie’s well being is worth every penny. If “One on One” care is needed the average cost in California is $36.00/hr. But again family or friends can do the job.

The next statement Alondra said caught my attention: “We may have to discuss if this is the right place for Charlie, if we don’t see an improvement. But let’s work together and see how he does with different medication.”

The whole family has always visited Charlie on a regular basis. Most of the staff knows us, and many of the residence’s know us as well. Charlie is quite the charmer and is popular with the staff. On most days his smile and energy is contagious. After the meeting we noticed he was thriving and in good spirits. That first week things were so good!

By week two the falls became even more frequent. He hit his head. The last fall not only did he hit his head again, the paramedics took him to the hospital. Hmmm we’re beginning to question what the additional $1500 for additional care looked like.  He was released and my parents brought Charlie home (Atria Del Rey) that evening. Little did we know, the nightmare for Charlie was just about to begin…

This is the moment the memory care facility, Atria Del Rey begins to get it all wrong. The moment my life, my families life gets turned upside down!

I’m going to pause for now. More to come- I promise! But check out this article. It breaks down the never talked about experience of Memory Care Evictions  https://www.dementiacarecentral.com/memory-care/evictions-discharges

If you are experiencing any type of Elder Abuse please share your story in the comments below. Or if you just want to know more about my experience feel free to ask…

#forcharlie

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